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Hi, everyone, I know that this community has been quiet for a long time, but I'm hoping to connect with others in relationships with multiples.

My partner is multiple, they have 9 in their system. They're entirely co-conscious when they choose to be, and can share memories freely.... no amnesia or difficulty working or doing stuff in the 'real world'.

One told me that most of those they've known or dated have focused almost exclusively on only one or two of them, ignoring the presence of the others.
I don't really understand that, I guess.
I asked to meet everyone in the system (who was willing to come up front and meet me, that is), because I wouldn't feel comfortable with a singleton partner who ignored some aspect of me... so why would I ignore any aspect of them who has a desire to interact with me?

So basically, I have different relationships with everyone in the system- their child alter sees me as a big sister, and we go to petting zoos and watch kids' movies, their more OCD alter and I work together cleaning the house, their work/academic focused alter and I have really fun intellectual debates... I can't imagine interacting in any other way, but I know that others do.

I guess my question to other partners of multiples is, how and with whom do you interact?
For multiples with singleton partners, how comfortable are you with your partners knowing everyone in the system?
 
 
 
 
 
 
I have 3 alters and then me, and i made a support site with a section on DID and i want to invite you guys to my site.  I think it will help.  When  you join just be sure to pm me so that i can give you access to the section since i keep it locked for your safety.

http://selfhelp.yuku.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
Just poted this to Multiplicity too.
######################################################

We're new to LJ so we didn't realize how to post. First we ended up posting to ourselves! We'd written a response to a different site, "Pavillion" then found out we couldn't so it never was posted. It was in regards to a statement regarding activism.  This subject is weighing heavier and heavier with us and we'd really like your input. We've pasted the post (that didn't post) below.

I was reading over older posts as the subject matter is so important to us. I've talked to most of you who have written a response regarding it(Hi Brandon, Forest & Jen, it's Jazz from Aspen Patch). And please forgive us if we seem out of line. I just get so frustrated at hearing and seeing over and over about what needs to be done, and no one doing it.

We (this body- in and out) fit into a LOT of those categories that have already seen change in a "movement". I'm gay, I'm female and I have disabilities. We have an adopted son who is also plural and black. His life is going to play out a lot in respect to what society does now, and the changes they implore. I want those changes to benefit him and others.

Every change that has ever occured starts with those who want that change, whether they're a part of that what needs to change, or see the wrong that is taking place and want to right it. Granted, we may not have the numbers to effect immediate change, though I suspect we may. Even if they're not plural, there are some in the community that are starting to come around. We're out to many, including all in our family. One, who is a Jr. in highschool told of us and one of her friends came out to her as being plural! And as far as not beleiving it's real, then what do those folks matter? Slavery was real, but until folks started saying and standing up for what they believed in, it was condoned, right?

We may make mistakes, so be it. Mistakes are made to learn from. So we learn from them and go forward, not hide because we fear what might happen. I don't think going into it willy nilly is the answer either, but having a plan
IS. That means we have to come up with a plan, together. And I think, no, I KNOW we can.

The e-zine was a fantabulous start. We plan on going to talk to high school health classes (it's a start) and we plan on having "professionals" lined up to support our stance should they be needed. When we first learned we were plural we scoured the Internet for positive info as the negative didn't fit. And that's all we found, was tons and tons of negative crap. Finally our partner found some positive sites! So in our thoughts a good starting place might be a plan to bombard the Internet with our stuff. It's one of the first places folks go to to find info on anything. So when someone types in plural or DID or multiple or any other word we think they might use to find info, the things that come up first on their search engine is nothing but positive sites with positive info and resources. We sure could have used that bombardment. Theres a lot more ideas that we've seen floating around here and there. But we
HAVE to start somehwere and with a plan to follow.

Please people, lets stop talking about this and actually do something, please? We're (Oure Gaiya) going to, whether others do or not. The more the stronger though. Please???????

 

 

 

 

oh yeah, here's some quotes from some very famous folks that might have some influence (they're also favorites of mine)

I'm a reflection of the community.
Tupac Shakur

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead


We must all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
Benjamin Franklin 

Jazz of AspenPatch, a small part of Oure Gaiya

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
I'm a singlet - I assumed everyone I knew were singlets. [Well, I didn't know the word.] This lunchtime [10 hours a go], I found out that my best friend was plural. The most awesome person in the world to me - now became four people, at least two of whom are made of awesome because they are the main fronters, and thus the person I assumed was her.

I knew that she had a seperate journal, for what she described as "weird stuff", I think. I'd been tempted to search for it before, but now I know I wouldn't have found it - but upon finding it today, I know it's them, because there's so much I recognise.

It's explained not exactly a lot [her two fronters are quite similar to each other] but a few thing's she's said now make more sense.

I've been with them a lot today, since then. We've talked, and we've not been able to talk due to others being there. This is the third time I'm crying today.

I've read up a little on terminology [I wanted to know what they meant by being plural] and I've wandered around a few communities today.

I'm now wondering whether I'm plural, and don't realise it. At primary school I had a soulbond, my best friend who I would talk to "telepathically". At sixth form, I decided I had four personalities one of whom had memory problems compared to the others, although I didn't consider them as separate individuals. I still have the memory-problems angry one [Tiger] as well as my fronter. But Tiger doesn't come out much [at secondary school, I let her out nearly every week at one point, and that wasn't good for anyone]. If she wasn't under my control, that would explain a lot. But to be honest, I don't want her to come out again so I can check.

I was worried once they'd told me, that things would be different between us. It isn't, as far as the last 11 hours go [it's taken a while to write this - the whole last paragraph was only realised as I typed], but I've no idea how it'll be in future. But that's the same with all friendships.

~Here is a break, due to a fire alarm~

My train of thought has completly gone. Thanks, whoever broke that fire alarm.

This is my previous journal - I am now generally going by as cupati. I've joined the comm as this because they have not admitted their plurality to LJ at large, so I better not expose her.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I hope that this isn't triggery for some people but I was looking for a community that discussed the negotiating of BDSM relationships with multiples. I am having an issue with my partner today and clearly there needs to be some sort of limit setting- the teenagers are moody and desperate for some limits. She has TOLD me that she needs help when she feels this way, and I'm supposed to put a stop to the jerky self harming and rebellious behavior.

I just don't know how. I won't discuss details here because I don't think it's appropriate.

If you know of the community I am referring to, please let me know!

-CP
 
 
 
 
 
 
Name: Our name is Kathryn, by which everyone refers to us.

System Members: Our first member is Kathryn, the person born to whom the body originally belonged. She is a girl of sensitivity, sometimes weak, but with surprising resilience. I am very proud of her, and she is the joy of my life.
I am Katullus, her closest friend and ally. Since she rules the rest of this life almost exclusively, the Livejournal website and journal is my domain. You might consider us lovers at times, but on the whole, we are just very good friends. We are an alliance against this world.
A third member, though you could hardly call her that, is something of an invader or a virus in our mind. Undeserving of a decent name, we call her "the creature". She is the ultimate deciever and embodiment of a lust for power- if she had her way, she would do away with both myself and Kathryn and take over this body. At a time, she gripped my mind and convinced me that she was just another part of myself, but Kathryn and I uncovered her little tricks and purged her from my soul. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, there is no garbage disposal for members gone awry, nor any way to expel them permanently from the body. We keep her locked up and don't let her out, ever. Don't expect to hear anything about her again after this introduction.

Why are you here?: I am here because I look to dispel the conception that multiples are all evil, psychotic, unstable, unfunctioning freaks who deserve to be made the serial killer in every story about them written. I believe the only way to do that is to band with other plurals and find the way together.

Gender: For a time, I was considered to be fully androgenous, but before long it was revealed that I am fully male in nature.

Age: Our body is 18 years old, as is Kathryn. I first came into being only five years ago, but have certainly had enough time to catch up, and if I had a choice, I would be 26. We have no idea how old "the creature" is and don't wish to risk getting close enough to ask her. We certainly don't fear her, mind you, but we know how clever she is- you give her an opening an inch wide, and she'll pry right back into your mind before you even realized you slammed the door.

Location: We live in California.

Anything Else: Nothing but not to take my coldness too personally. I may seem antagonistic at times; don't let that trip you up. I don't believe in tact or trying to impress people. Just know that, though I am dark, I am not evil.
 
 
 
 
 
 
X-posted from my personal journal.

The other night I went to bed with Leon, who snuggled up with me spoon fashion with his large body curling around mine and his arms around me. It's not unusual for us to chat at bedtime, but for some reason he got very caught up in telling me about the future of a major city and the unusual -- but effective -- corrections techniques employed by the sheriff of that region. I have nothing against either of these topics, but he was on a tear and kept going and going, far beyond my actual point of interest.

I was just about to ask him if we could change the subject when he fell silent. Several seconds passed, then I heard Lugh say in a tone of exaggerated disgust, "I had to do something to shut him up."

I couldn't help laughing -- and I felt kind of guilty for it, for laughing instead of scolding Lugh for mugging Leon.

But then Lugh started purring -- a rich, deep, rumbling, full-bodied purr, as if I had a huge, happy cougar lying beside me, and I snuggled up closer to him.

I waited for him to say something more, or to start to touching me, but nothing happened.

Then I heard Leon's voice again: "He came out to shut me up, then fell asleep."

I was so startled by the second abrupt transition in the space of two or three minutes that for a while I couldn't do or say anything, then I laughed some more at the sheer surrealism of it.

I have asked again and again that they let me know when they are going to switch, so I can have a chance to say goodbye to whoever has been out, or just shift gears. They almost never do. Most of the time it really isn't a big deal; I've gotten used to it, and can easily connect with whichever one of them has been inside. And sometimes -- times like this -- it's just perversely funny to me.
 
 
 
 
 
 
[x-posted from my personal journal]


Some days I ache from the frustration of not being able to speak freely about Lugh & Leon's situation. Most of the time it's okay, and even the frustration is more wistfulness, but on Sunday morning I had an acutely frustrating, painful experience: I took them to the spiritual community where I was a member for several years, but had not been back to in quite some time.

As luck -- bad luck -- would have it, the pastor was talking about reincarnation that morning, not something he would usually have addressed, but a topic that was "by request."

He made an absolute hash of it.
And I'm not saying that because of any particular position he took, but because he took no position at all, he was muddled and sloppy and utterly embarrassing. This is someone who is capable of presenting an inspiring, thought-provoking message -- but this was just a mess. He didn't even present the official perspective of the writings on which the church is based in a coherent way.

But the worst part was that while he paid lip service to personal choice, tolerance, respect for others, and all those other nice, liberal values, his underlying tone was one of condescension toward those who believed in reincarnation. Actually, equally upsetting was the fact that the "scientific" data he quoted was poorly understood and did not necessarily support his position.

And I sat there next to Leon & Lugh wanting nothing more than to stand up and out them, because what this guy was saying was totally denying the truth of their experience. The pastor was talking about remembering past lives through hypnosis, but never gave any consideration to those who remember without hypnosis. He talked about people remembering being Cleopatra or Napoleon, and scoffing at that, but Lugh speaks unapologetically about being -- for most of his existence -- a common man, a working warrior, a laborer. Leon has a slightly different past, but he too has waking, conscious memories of other existence. They tend to downplay their past lives, focusing on living in the present, living in this life, however unusual their circumstances. Everything they are, everything about the way they communicate about and understand their pasts, contradicts what the pastor was saying about people who believe in reincarnation.

I have always understood that there could be other explanations for what L&L tell me about their subjective experiences. When I first got to know Leon's "aspects" (to use his terminology) I spent time considering that it could be a con -- but there's no benefit to them, and certainly over the time I've known them the differences between them are too distinct, too powerful on a subtle level, to be one person acting. "He" could be delusional, but they are so sane and sensible and stable in every other respect, that hypothesis doesn't work for me. The best explanation lies outside what most people would even begin to entertain as plausible -- and there's no way to "prove" it to someone one way or the other.

And it frustrates me that I can't just blurt out their truth. First, although they have given me the discretion to tell who I wish, their secret is simply not mine to tell. Second, unless someone has spent extended time around them both, that person would have no reason to take my word for it, to accept what I say. My word would go a long way with a lot of people on any number of topics, but I don't think this would be one of them for most people.

And of course there's the ongoing frustration of not being able to introduce Lugh for who he is, to fully acknowledge him as my lover and partner. Leon is the official front for them both, so he gets the name recognition and the credit, even when Lugh is fronting. And I think that's unfair. I hate not being able to be openly seen and interact with Lugh as Lugh.

I just needed to vent.
 
 
 
 
 
 
How many of you out there have children outside the system? How do you negotiate that? How do you balance the needs of the kids in the system with the corporeal ones? Do your children KNOW?

I am trying to decide if parenting is ever going to be an option for us. I'm not sure that it is, and am working on being OK with that. Can't say that it's an easy process. I've been obsessed with childraising, child development, birth, labor and all things parenting related since I was small. I never QUESTIONED that I would have children, lesbian or no.

But my partner is more important. And hey, I've GOT kids a plenty, kids galore. I just can't cuddle them. But then, I don't have to pay for college, either!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hi. I'm a partner of a multiple. We've been together for 5 years. We had our illegal gay wedding about a year and a half ago. A few months back the DID was diagnosed and she has started familiarizing herself with the others and letting them out.

So far it's been my job to take care of them all, and mostly that's OK. I love them. I get tired sometimes and wish they'd take care of ME more, but they had to do a lot of grownup things when they were little and that wasn't fair, and I'm surely not going to do the same thing.

I think I'm just going to lurk for a while until I get the feel for the community. I'm on multiplicity and a few others too, and they all seem to each have their own vibe. I don't want to post things in the wrong community. So I'm just gonna read for a while, and maybe comment here and there. Everybody else seems to be so ... CHILL with the whole thing. I guess I wish there was SOMEONE else that was like, "This is a little weird, ok?" so I didn't have to pretend to be so blase. I don't even mean blase- it just feels so much like a neat cool fantasy world and I know it isn't like that- it's real and serious and I don't really know what I'm saying but I just feel like some posts make me feel like a cynical doubter type. It's just so taken up and


I don't know. I'd really like to talk to people that live this every day. My partner's not really out as multiple either and I don't know how I feel about it. I want them to feel safe and validated and I do NOT want to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, but I DO. And that is how I feel. And my feelings are as valid as theirs. even though there's only one of me.

I guess I feel ganged up on sometimes. How are my needs gonna stack up to all their needs?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Last night I had one of the more intensely unusual experiences I've been through as a result of being involved with a multiple. . . .


I was lying in bed with Lugh, just snuggling, when suddenly Lugh wasn't there any more, Bruin was. Instead of Lugh's calm, steady presence, there was a smiley bear-person hugging and petting me.

Once I connected and ascertained that yes, it was Bruin -- not Lugh getting silly -- I asked if he had asked Lugh if he could come out. (Because I consider it rude for them to switch on me without warning.) "Lugh fell out of the body," he replied. "Leon too."

Excuse me?

He nodded. "They fell out. There's a spider-person here now."

I'd never heard of a "spider-person" before, but if its appearance was preceded by Leon and Lugh being dropped out of the body, I was not keen on it. "Don't let it come out, Bruin," I said.

"Okay," he replied genially. "Should I make it go away?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

Next thing I know, it looks like my lover has fallen asleep -- and I start freaking out, because I don't know who -- or what -- is going to be looking out of those eyes when they open again. And did I mention I'm there in bed naked? I poked the arms a little, said, "Bruin? Lugh?" a couple of times, then started to get out of bed, reaching for a shirt, hoping I was capable of dealing with whatever might happen next and wondering how in the world I had ever found myself in this situation.

Then the eyes opened and I heard Lugh's voice say, "Aw, shit."

I stopped moving away from the bed, but didn't get closer to the body. "What happened?"

"Leon and I were jerked out of the body." He looked at me, half out of the bed. "Com'ere."

I shook my head. "Keep talking."

He understood that I wasn't yet comfortable getting close again, and continued to explain what had happened. Evidently there is a kind of 'pattern spirit' that look something like spiders. This one happened along, pulled him and Leon out of the body (dropping them into the spirit world) so it could enter the mindscape -- which isn't the spirit world, but is the internal world of their body. When Bruin saw them both drop out, he came forward to be in the body, but for some reason didn't feel any alarm about what had happened.

When I asked him to make the spider-person go away, evidently the spirit didn't want to leave, so Bruin killed it.

Lugh reassured me that Bruin would not have let the spirit enter the body, and even if it had managed to do so, it didn't have the capacity to work the brain, so it wouldn't have been dangerous to me, it would simply have looked like the body was having a seizure -- eyes closed, twitching -- because there would not have been a consciousness in charge.

At some point during this discussion, I was convinced that it really was Lugh with me again, and snuggled up, and he continued to talk about the various stuff that occasionally happens with them. Evidently incidents like this happen about once a year. Lugh said that it used to happen more often, when they were doing more with energy and magic, which is one of the reasons they cut way down on such things.

Before going back to sleep, I went to the bathroom. I turned the light on as I crossed the threshold, and when I turned to sit down, I saw a Very Big Spider in the center of the bathroom floor. Often I let even the big spiders alone, but not this one. I killed it with a tissue and flushed it.

When I got back to bed and told Lugh the story, he seemed unsurprised. "We don't make this shit up, love."

It took me quite a while to calm down enough to actually go to sleep, and when I did, my dreams were very intense.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Name: Mysidia

System Members: Many, many members.

Why are you here?: Well, we're multiple, and my girlfriend (yes it's a f/f relationship) is a singlet. I thought this place may be helpful to me. Sometimes it gets complicated because others inside the system also have a relationship with her as well (males and females) but to the littles she's their "mommy". So she has multiple roles with us, and sometimes it just gets... well complicated!

Gender: Female (and body is female).

Age: 20 (body is 20).

Location: USA
 
 
 
 
 
 
Name: We call ourselves the Choir Invisible (or just Choir for short)

System members: There are currently 7 of us who sometimes use the body, but only four of those communicate with the outside world much - Fireez (the host), Ash, Draco and Malak

Why are you here? Curiosity, mostly. Also, one of us used to be involved with a Soulbond of another person, which has caused him much pain, since that bond isn't nearly as active as he used to be. The current status of their relationship is "not quite sure if it's really over or not".

Gender: The body is female, but about half the members of the Choir are male.

Age: Whose :P? The host is 28, ages of the headmates range from 20 to "a few thousand".

Location: Germany

Anything else? Our system is a mix of several types of origins and connections. Most of us are Soulbonds (insourced and outsourced), but there's also walk-ins. Connections range from empathic connections with occasional in-system communication right up to those who can (and will) front and interact with the outside world.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Greetings --

I am in a relatively new romantic relationship with the two most dominant members of a multiple community. We've spent time together, but live in different states, so our day to day relationship is long-distance, over email and phone.

It's been a totally new experience for me to be in love with two people in one body, and most of it has been going amazingly smoothly. But there's been one element which started to bother me: it's not uncommon for me to be talking on the phone with Leon, and then suddenly realize that Leon is no longer 'fronting' and I'm now talking with Lugh. There's usually a distinctive voice change that goes with the switch, but since they often are both very much present, the voice isn't a sure sign.

I've raised the issue with them, and explained that I felt like it was rude for one to leave and one to come out without giving me the chance to say goodbye to the first or be greeted by the second. They might or might not feel that a significant change has taken place, given the degree to which they can both be present, but to me it feels like I've been talking to someone and then had someone else come into the room, kick the first person into a closet, and then take up the conversation as if nothing has happened.

Both Leon and Lugh responded very positively to my feelings, and both promised to do better at signaling changes. As I had suspected (but not accused), Lugh had been simply wresting control of the body from Leon when he saw an opportune moment, so even Leon had no warning. Lugh has promised to stop "being a bully" and start indicating he wants to come out, and Leon has promised not to use the warning as a way to try to block Lugh. Both have promised that I can say "no" to having the other come out if I'm involved with one.

So we're trying to communicate and compromise, and that's a good thing, but I was wondering if anyone in this community can give me any insights based on your experiences on how to help navigate these waters in the future. Especially the area of balance. If Leon and Lugh were in different bodies, I could schedule time to be with each separately. . . but as I type this, I realize that I can probably do that now too. . . It just feels awkward telling one of them I would like to make time to be alone with the other.

How do you handle the etiquette of loving two very different people in one body and feeling like you want to be with one and not the other at a particular time, when there are issues about body control that transcend the immediate issues of their personal relationship with me?
 
 
 
 
 
 
Since we seem to have slowed down on new members...

Welcome to multiconnected, everyone! Hopefully we can keep this place relatively active. Feel free to direct people here who might be interested; the more input we have, the better.

I'm new to moderating communities on LiveJournal, though I've run reasonably successful YahooGroups and an occasional forum before; I don't think it's too much different. Still, LiveJournal does have some differences from what I've moderated before, and this is not the sort of community I'm used to moderating, so please forgive any glaring mistakes I make (and please inform me when I make them!). I'm open to constructive criticism and any advice; I won't bite your head off for it.

Let's get this started, shall we? I'll start with a fairly general topic. Two questions for discussion:

1. What have you found to be the most difficult part of having a relationship* with a multiple, and how have you dealt with it?

2. What have you found to be the most enjoyable part of having a relationship with a multiple?

*I'm using the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of "relationship" as "an emotional attachment between individuals". This includes the emotional attachment of family, friends, and significant others.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Name: Meirya (or Danielle, offline)

System Members: I'm a singlet.

Why are you here?: My boyfriend's a multiple; a close friend/mentor is multiple; and his wife (also a good friend) is a more classic (as in dissociative/split, though not really disordered because there's intrasystem communication) multiple. So I've got various types of relationships with various multiple systems, and sometimes issues come up that would be helpful to get other perspectives of.

Gender: F

Age: 20

Location: Northeast Ohio

Anything Else: Not really.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Name: Katherine

System Members: Syn, Amanda, Jill, Abigail, and others I have yet to give me names.

Why are you here?: I am here to learn how to talk with my others and learn acceptance of them.

Gender: F

Age: tsk tsk never ask a lady her age! :)

Location: Spokane, WA

Anything Else: I look forward to learning more about myself and others here.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hey! My name is Jen. This is my intro post.

To save your FLs...Collapse )
 
 
 
 
 
 
Introduce yourself! Here is a suggested format, if you have difficulty with introductions.
  • Name: Your name, if you're a singlet; your body's name or system's name, if you're a multiple.
  • System Members: The members of your system, if you're a multiple. If you're a singlet, leave this blank.
  • Why are you here?: Why have you joined multiconnected?
  • Gender: Your gender, if you're comfortable giving it.
  • Age: Your age, if you're comfortable giving it.
  • Location: Your place of residence, if you're comfortable giving it. Knowing at least your country is helpful, so we know the cultural, legal, and social context that you're coming from.
  • Anything Else: Whatever else you feel is important, and any questions you have or topics you'd like to discuss.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Feel free to comment with suggestions for revisions or additions to the rules.
  • Keep it PG. Not every member is an adult. If you need to use strong language or talk about sexual matters, put it under an lj-cut.

  • Respect subjectivity. There are people who believe that they have more than one person in the body they live in, but they believe they do not have a disorder. There are people who believe they have more than one person in their body, but do have a disorder. There are those who believe that, in some way, they are something other than human. Some believe the people in their body are external spirits. Some believe magic works; some believe magic doesn't. Some believe people can travel from body to body.

    You may think one or all of the above beliefs are wrong, insane, or somehow "bad". That's your belief. Don't push it on others; don't flame people for believing something strange (or "normal", for that matter).

  • Civil debate is acceptable. Respectful, civil debate is fine; you don't have to accept someone's beliefs as truth, but you do need to respect their beliefs as their personal beliefs that are valid for them. Expressing doubt and a difference of opinion is fine; just remember to remain civil in your debate of ideas, terms, concepts, and approaches to problems.

  • Respect privacy. If you want something to stay within the community, friends-lock it by putting the Security tab to Friends, and remember that anyone can still view it by joining the community. If someone friends-locks a post, don't copy the contents elsewhere. If the multiple system you're connected to doesn't want it known that they're multiple, then respect their privacy and use an alias.

  • Spell-check is your friend. Please, please, please follow something at least resembling the rules of English grammar and spelling. Use spell-check. If people can't understand what you wrote, then why did you bother posting it?

  • Do not delete! If people have commented on your post, then deleting your post deletes all comments as well. Those are others' words and efforts, and not yours to delete. This goes for deleting specific comments on your entry as well; do not delete them!

    What you perceive as hostility might be simply a lively debate to someone else. If you feel a debate has escalated into flaming, or that inappropriate comments were made in reply to a post, inform the moderators. Do not delete it yourself. The mods will decide what action needs to be taken.

  • Stay on-topic. multiconnected is meant for discussion of interbody relationships: in other words, relationships involving a resident of one body and a resident of a separate body, where at least one body houses more than one person.

    If you are plural and want to discuss intrabody topics - that which involves only other people in your own body and living as a multiple - there are a couple communities more suitable than this one. Try multiplicity, nonstupidplural, sbtalk, or any number of similar communities.

    If you are a singlet and want to talk about a relationship with another singlet, this is not the place. There are many, many LiveJournal communities out there catered to singlet friendships, romantic relationships, familial relationships, etc; do a search for such communities and take your non-plural relationship topics there.

  • LJ-cut it. As a general guideline, if your post is more than three average paragraphs long, put some or most of it under an lj-cut. An average paragraph is 3 to 5 sentences. As a harder guideline, LJ-cut your post if it's over 15 lines.